Monday, June 20, 2016

damnit

why do *I* have to put up with these freaking hallucinations? i’ve dealt with them for 23 freaking years. enough is enough is enough is enough. i don't want to do it anymore. BUT I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. everybody just takes every fucking thing for granted. drive a car? oh, i cant do that. work for my money? oh, i can earn honest money for hard work. can’t even feel like a man who works for his money. get the mail? i can’t do that. do my wash downstairs. oh, i can’t do that. go to Facebook without thinking all my friends are secretly making fun of me? oh, i can’t do that.
and i have to put up with the same assholes in the world as everyone else, only thing is i got assholes 24/7, even when i’m 100% alone as the voices don’t let up. i’m so fucking tired of being insulted by thin air. being threatened to the point that i’m afraid. and there is no way out, schizophrenia is for LIFE. this wont go away till i DIE. i try so much to be positive, but my life is filled with negative shit. i can’t take  vacation because my mind is the problem, and it’s always with me.

2 comments:

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